-I couldn't sleep last night so I wrote this
all opinions welcome thank you,
His eyes
His smile
His laugh
The tingles that explode through my body
A single touch, a single look
Should I stay and heal this heartache or leave and deal with the heartbreak
He鈥檚 here, I鈥檓 on a high
The smiles are evident
Frowns a rarity
Hanging on to his every word
Butterflies soar like birds of paradise
Feelings and emotions that should never stop
That i don鈥檛 want to stop
Should I stay and heal this heartache or leave and deal with the heartbreak
He鈥檚 gone
Numbness takes control
Darkness surrounds everything
Was I on a high?
Reality has hit fast and hard
My heart aches
Longing for those magical moments
How are you feeling?
Should I stay and heal this heartache or leave and deal with the heartbreak
We meet again
Please don鈥檛 fall to fast this time
It鈥檚 a tiring emotional effort to get up
Things aren鈥檛 like before
You know how it鈥檚 going to end
You know it ends
It all... ends
Why bother? It all ends in the end. The endThis subject has been beaten over the head so many times that it even hurts me. Hiding your feelings a little bit would help the reader to use their imagination and allow them to enjoy it more.
I'm glad you weren't upset with my answer. just telling it as it is. This seems pretty obvious but taking a few minutes a day to read some of the great poets can open your mind to things that you never knew you had inside of you. Try it, take 10 minutes and try to really understand one of Frosts poems or any of the others that catches your eye. I promise that after a few days you will be amazed.
I'm still thinking about your poem and I have to add. Read Robert Frosts poem-Nothing gold can stay. It,s really short but says so much. It's about young friendship and how easy it is to loose if people don't try to keep each other happy.i like it , keep it up , you can write something creative good luck ;-)
Ryan
Well done free verse! So much feeling and creativity! i loved how each paragragh ended!
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