I need help with the poem if anyone can help to do it better?

-unsure when I see you

I turn to the back of the room

and wait for your shadow

it is not there and I fight

back another night

of loss and hard memories.

I wish you would go from my eyes

so I can see only life againunsure when I see your face

I turn to the back of the room in a fast pace

and wait for your shadow to disappear

it is not there and I fight not to hear

back another night

of loss and hard memories, no more light

I wish you would go from my eyes

so I can see only life again



Like?put more energy into it, be more unique -that's my advice.



post it in the poetry castle





If you like writing poetry, you should check out the Poetry Castle-- http://www.fliprap.com/forumdisplay.php?鈥?/a>



It's a website where you can post your poems, get and give feedback, join online poetry battles, meet other writers, become a part of a great community, join poetry exercise forums, and discussions. You'll love it there. Invite a friend to join with u if you want.