Collectivity, will you c/c my poem?

-We came a long way to wind up here,

where the wind blows through the pine tops,

chilling the blood in our thin veins;

and the journey wasn't easy, we lost our way

a thousand times, but we backtracked

and got here nonetheless. Was it a test?

Was there a reason-

or a thousand separate agendas,

each unto his own?Mornin sis, very relative.



The path windin

through no sure sense of direction

bread crumbs left to reference,

taken

We circle

the hills, and valleys low

landmarks ever changin

as Raptors we never stop lookin

for reason.Agendas, agendas why can't we just have one and the same agenda and walk this road hand in hand. Why choices choices, left and right, ringing noise and whispering voices

when all roads lead to the same end, spokes to the same wheel, a thousand radii to the same center

Drama drama, we need some spice, we want it hot or blistering, we want it cold and numbing our brains and everything.

the race the race confuses us, we think it's what we came here for. We don our helmets, shift to D, and push until we reach the floor...
Good Try!!! But I think the number of words in each line should be equal. Also, rhyme gives a poem a musical quality. If, you will rhyme the poem, it would be great. Hope you'll take advantage of my answer!!!

And you must also use I instead of we!!

Well! I liked your poem!!
Maybe "a buffoon external spirit killed my eyes in your stare". I refer to a verse of mine, since the collectivity in here, because of a big time buffoon trolls behavior, made my posts not to be visited. You see buffoons always complain, but always behave like sissies. I know of a few.
Worn out lovers. Even the wind seems to irritate the physical realm of the two people, and even the wind (an invisible form) can chill the internal life of two lovers.
I could take this on those thousand separate agendas ... knowing all I could think would fit your lines...



from a heated one night stand to a lasting lifetime of love to an inner struggle to survive....



well done!



鈾?/div>

• 4 weeks ago
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Now change 'we' to 'I' and ask yourself? It seems our agendas have similar itineraries, but not in sequence or weight.
Thanks for taking me to the top of a mountain when I was supposed to be working! Love the imagery.
The Long and Winding Road to nowhere.

Sorry you feel this way,Get well soon.

bye