What's your opinion of this poem?

-"It seems your inching under, sir, inching slowly under

But what it is you're inching in I cannot help but wonder."

Oh booming voice up in the clouds, to speak cuts like a knife

I'm simpley inching into death, while inching out of life.

"You're wrong, you poor deluded boy, True Death's up here with me.

Hell's dungeons boil below you, child, Eternal Agony!"

Oh climb down off your shitheep, oh fiend hid in the sky

You're Lucifer! The Great Deceiver! Your word is but a lie

You will not fool me anymore with your wrath and rolling thunder.

It's god that stands behind my wheel and inches me now under.

The bog it yawned and pulled me down, my body trussed in chains

And Satan sighed, shook his head and played harp amoungst the flames.

"It's he'll up here in heaven too, for all that that is worth.

Heaven is just a lie of mine to make it hell on earth.



I received mixed reactions to my last poem (Golden Mean) so I thought I'd put this one up. Tell me what you think of it. Does this one "need work" too?