Feedback on these poems?

-These are three of what i think are my best works, please let me know what you think. :)

Girl from the Moon

Girl from the moon, eyes shining so brightly,

Her skin, pale like mist, white like milk.

Her soft footsteps tread so very lightly,

Her white blond hair, soft like sweet silk.



Heir to a dying kingdom, still so young;

Vibrant, youthful, a pure beauty.

To a life and world she once knew she clung,

But to no avail; she had a duty.



A father, one she never even knew,

A mother, burdened with despair.

That poor sweet girl, she didn't have a clue,

That she was tangled in such an affair.



Broken and battered, she sat on the throne,

A task far too difficult for a child.

Rapidly and joylessly had she grown,

It was a rare moment when she smiled.



Next one doesn't have a name, it's a spell.

Our world is bound by two powerful forces.

Sun, to warm our hearts and light the day,

Moon, to brighten the night and chase the demons away,

Never one without the other, the ultimate duet,

Together they make a gorgeous silhouette.

They sing their joyful song in perfect harmony,

Their sweet voices melding in holy matrimony.

Lux tenebra!



Drifting away



Tetrameter

You drifted away, leaving me,

Wasting and withering away.

Your eyes reflected a dead sea,

What we might have done, with a day.



The last one is not my favorite, but let me know what you think! Tips, suggestions, critiques, anything :)You've written great poetry.



The last one is not bad as you think. It's short but has a deep message of the effect of eternal time. It's simple but excellent in expression.



'Girl from the moon' has some great imagery portrayed beautifully something like an unforgettable dream.



The second poem concluded with two wonderful pair of lines:



"They sing their joyful song in perfect harmony,

Their sweet voices melding in holy matrimony. " , in total harmony with the these two lines,



"Sun, to warm our hearts and light the day,

Moon, to brighten the night and chase the demons away"



You're a sculptor of powerful images in poetry.hey great stories. this is poems I would like to learn an d write like.