What do you think of this poem i jus made?

-They speak of lies and lust

Their hearts outgrown run down with rust

But they were once loved, once cared for

But time passes by and their lives, their eyes look to a dark night

A story spoken quiet breaking me inside聽

I want to scream aloud to tell all those broken down聽

Its a picture, their lives.聽

Such beauty was shown

The love that grew in the darkest of skies

Its nothing more than an hour show聽

On a stage running with full speed no room to breathe

Pushing their hearts they are without truth

Plasted paper mache 聽with a drum thumping they dance, they dance my laughter away

Singing of pain bringing me inside such dark walls I cry

Their lives folding within speaking again an again

The paint painted dims all 聽the love they once shew was half truth聽

But its not just a show its my heart you cut through聽

The shadows, the dark run away聽

Your life you live will find another face

Another face as you so untrue

You will feel what i feel聽

You will one day know how muched i loved you soInteresting, but I think it would read better if you broke it up into stanzas. It has a lot of feeling and is well-expressed. A plaintive cry from one who has loved and lost.



Overall, I like it. Keep writing.
allright...i rate it 6/10