What do you think of my poem/poetic story (its dark)?

-humming a nostalgic tune

as he thread his needle

he pierced the skin above her lip

with the painfully sharp edge

tears hot as candle wax

dripped down her face

as he sewed her mouth shut

so she would never speak

he then murdered her



she was awoken from her death

she dug out his eyes

un aware he was already blind.

she cut off his hands

so he could never feel her pain again,

she watched as he bleed to death

and she never woke again.I think it's pretty good.

One thing I noticed was it seemed to need more detail, instead of "He then murdered her"

You have a talent for it, and a talent for detail.

It is very interesting.

Thanks for sharing-M