What do you think of my poem?

-such a beautiful spring day

the sun sparkles on the water

all the butterflies out to play

as i sit here with my daughter



gazing out onto the scenery

my daughter and i both still and quiet

looking around at the beautiful greenery



every minute spent with you gives me joy

every day spent without you, makes me worry

i know one day you will find a nice boy

but girl dont hurry



your time will come sooner or later

but just take your time and sit here with me

looking at the beautiful scenery



thanks!:)It's very, mm... young, I suppose.



There's no hidden feelings or emotions, it's all there, shown clearly. I guess, poetry isn't really about that. You have to be able to show your emotions, show yourself, not tell. And in your poem you're telling everyone what you feel.



Um, it's not too bad though overall, but it doesn't feel real. Read it aloud, it doesn't sound right. Just keep practicing.
its ok but i think the rhyming is a little cheesy :P remember poetry doesn't always have to use end rhyme. its a cute poem though :)