We are protected by the night to grieve in peace...?

-Loving hearts



Hold your precious tears my love.

Sun is coming to devour

Our peace voraciously,

And we shall walk indiscriminately

As our eyes are blindfolded

To the white magic of light.

We can shed another river

For we are protected by the night

And our excruciating lives.



My love, we shall grieve

When the night comes.



Himedal

July2011In response to Alpha, you said "LC , Himedal = A hard truth about poetrry. I had to face this hard truth too. When we write a poem, we have to be able to rephrase it in other words and acquire the same meaning. Otherwise the poem is too abstract. This one cannot be rephrased, Plus I stand on my opinion. I learned to be honest. Himedal will criticize that. And if LC insists, I would like her to show me where the feeling is in this poem. I did not see it. Him., please forgive me, a diplomat I was not ever, that's why I have very few visitors at my posts. LC, you may claim all you want about suns, lives... I want to see the feeling. Otherwise it is only description.. Sorry."

I say this poem can be broken down into plain English and rephrased, Observe



Don't cry right now my love the sun is coming to greedily take away our peace and while the light is here we can not distinguish between ways and choices, But as the night once again banishes the light we can cry a river of tears for the night protects us and the pain of our lives



My love, we grieve in the night



In other words, My love the light is too harsh, too judgmental allowing others to see us as we grieve, so do not grieve now, but wait until the night when all is hidden and we can grieve in peace, hiding the pain of our excruciating lives





To Himedal: Another truelly beautiful work, you have potential don't give it up!Harrowing. I hope you are O.K.





edit - Taghi - may I just say - I am no longer the one on this site whose elevator does not go to the top floor. Not you - but another - I am sure you will understand.

And actually I am glad to relinquish the title of the most batsh*t person on yahoo!



Your poem is very affecting and clear.



edit - From LC's post - "excruciating lives" is moving and resounds with authenticity.



I have learned a thing about profundity from your words. Simple, clear, concise.
Taghi, may I borrow this space to tell Gio that we sometimes post a little piece to show something other than a poem, a moment of time and a sentiment. You don't see the fact that this has a devouring sun in it significant?

Perhaps you have not led an excruciating life?
This poem is full of love and survival; I had a image come to mind of the strong protective male and a sensitive loving woman. If they allowed their tears to fall the sun would sizzle those tears on their cheeks leaving them forever damaged. May the night protect them both.
My friend, this is a dark poem in more ways than one. 'And our excruciating lives' is quite an original thought, but I know you well enough to have a bit of understanding. So you cannot grieve when the harsh light of day might reveal your expression, your thoughts? Yes, I think so... Blessings, Taghi...
We are protected by the night

the rain, and the sound of thunder

that interrupts our stricken stares

a startled lunge sideways

to arms prepared

to hold

.......fear not the night

when lightening strikes

illuminating the way forward

by way of a bonded union
Hi. This is so touching, emotionally driven writing here.....Pretty intense! I can relate to this poem since i'm grieving the death of a family member. I love it, i applause you. I really like the end of the poem you brought the message home.
taghi, I think my sisters have stated elequentlly, and I cannot add to that other than to say I feel you as a friend, so do not despair.
I remember responding to this elsewhere. An allegory of truth.



I bow to the darkness, and hope you do the same :)
Hold your precious tears my love.

Sun is coming to devour



How much do I love this excellent poem ?

Himedal you are just grate thank you for posting this brilliant poetry :)
Him, my friend, I shall offer you an honest opinion:



Don't sacrifice your talent to (by all means) write here and now, another "dark" "Gothic".



This poem has strong details that somehow do not really interconnect.

{As our eyes are blindfolded

To the white magic of light.



For we are protected by the night} No philosophical connection. No drama either.



And we shall walk indiscriminately (Towards where?)



Sun is coming to devour

Our peace voraciously, (How???)



And our excruciating lives. ( Our lives have attained of an excruciating pain. There is no such a thing as excruciating lives. It's like saying "egg yoke bicycle.")





My love, we shall grieve

When the night comes. (Why at night? During the day you do not?)



Himedal. I 've seen pieces of you that were substantial. This is not interconnected right. Despite of what the others may write, I shall tell you the truth. You are a lyric poet and try to become a Napalm Death or Manowar stylist. Give a try to more sophisticated solutions, than the Gothic ones. If you want to feel grief, describe of a valid reason to feel it.



The poem is over descriptive without emotional participation from you. No grievance, no joy. Plain.



I would like to ask Tori on this to offer her opinion. Remember that I risk my serenity to help you, here, since you may never forgive me. A thing others will never do. I am a good friend and offer a valid opinion. I care less about the poetry rules. I just want to ameliorate your poetic perception if I can.



LC , Himedal = A hard truth about poetrry. I had to face this hard truth too. When we write a poem, we have to be able to rephrase it in other words and acquire the same meaning. Otherwise the poem is too abstract. This one cannot be rephrased, Plus I stand on my opinion. I learned to be honest. Himedal will criticize that. And if LC insists, I would like her to show me where the feeling is in this poem. I did not see it. Him., please forgive me, a diplomat I was not ever, that's why I have very few visitors at my posts. LC, you may claim all you want about suns, lives... I want to see the feeling. Otherwise it is only description.. Sorry.