Do you like this poem I wrote..?

-I miss the real you, when you were always there

the one I once knew, who always seemed to care



you say life's not fair, you'll do as you please

into your eyes I stare, as I get on my knees



you look into my eyes, and tell me that I'm nothing

what a great surprise, to actually think I was something



I looked up to you, praised you, believed you

now I wanna kill you, leave you & deceive you



now it's time for a preview, my anger runs so deep, it's so strong

the promises you promised to keep, didn't happen, you're so wrong



6ft deep in the ground is where you belong, you're outta your mind,

I'm done searching for something for which I'm never going to findwow, knowing that it was to your dad makes it better !

awsome poem.. I loved it, and the rhyme goes really good too





xxx



peaceSome of the rhymes are a bit simplistic. Nothing wrong with that, it's just the vocabulary is a bit underwhelming. You also rhymed "you" with "you". It's alright, but not really publishing material by any means.



Also, I hope you're not going to show your pops.
thats a brill song, i think its a about a boy wasnt it...??
aww cute
ya