What do you think of this?

-It's not a poem and I didn't write it, lol. The original writer just wants opinions and a rating of 1-10 on it. She and her friend wrote this. I think it's pretty creative with a good choice of word play that somewhat makes alittle sense and they didn't give it a title.

(I personally give it a 7.) as I told her she should share, so she now wants it to be rated. lol.



The skies are pale blue, the grass flows free.

The wind blows soft and the mermaids roam the sea.

Such a fantasy, such a fake.

But if you imagine, it's yours to take.

Dream up a world, one you can control.

Don't get carried away, try to keep hold.

In your mind, you let your brush paint a picture, slow, there's no rush.

In your world, time stands still.

More then enough so your picture can fulfil.

Your train of thoughts will never end, more and more of the pretend.

You use it all to the max, going down different tracks.

You go one way, then you travel another.

It's so hard to choose when you're the creator.

Paint the past, paint the present, create your future, it's all in your hands.I Give it a 1. It's corny and poorly written.
To the good Its not a OMG My BF/GF is wonderful/ terrible type poem that is so typical of this site. It is

a thoughtful and somewhat entertaining piece.



Now to the Negative Control/hold does not really work

The following line while it has good interior rhyme can't be broken into two lines anywhere and as a result just stands out

You need a line break between end and more

another and creator don't rhyme at all and the last line rhymes with nothing.

Tell her to keep trying



When I started some of my work was awful ie. instead of saying I smile in one early poem I put

a smile comes upon my face. yeech.

Rating 5