What do you think of my poem? (its kind of dark)?

-The pain in which they thrive

It splatters on the floor

They devour you alive

As shadows close the door

They have no backs to hold them up

But eyes as dark as night

So take the fear to fill their cups

And let there be some fright

Take a crane and stick it through their head

As you cry you hear them scream

Their wishing it was someone else instead

They are the innocent it may seem

Their eyes one dark, hollow shell

Are filled with fear, fear they bring

How could they not even tell?

Of the screams that cry a deafening ring

The clock, it slowly turns

As the night time loudly sang

They will hope, they will yearn

Just like I did, it said and rang.





would you buy a book with this type of writting in it?Is the entire book like this? You are right, this is dark. I cannot grasp the image that you are trying to portray, but some of the images, while gross, are interesting. I like the line " so take the fear to fill their cups/ and let there be some fright" and then the lines "how could they not even tell?" I think that there are good lines but that together they don't make much sense.
I think its amazing. I love poems like this so I would definitely buy a book with these types of poems. You are a very talented poet, great job!
I would buy a book of good horror poems. But they are hard to come by..